I am going to start by saying that I will leave the difference in treatment post for later on. Things have progressed a lot since my last post, so that is what I am going to concentrate on.

How has it been, living full time? Well.......it's been absolutely blooming marvellous! It all feels normal. I'm sleeping better, eating better, feel happier in myself now that I am being who I should be. I have a spring in my step, a song in my heart and a smile (sort of - my smile is quite scary!) on my face. I wish I could have done this years ago, but circumstances meant that I never realised that this is what I wanted.

It is easier when going out in the evening now. Just freshen up my makeup, get changes then out. I have rationed my evenings out to three times a week, mainly to give my body a rest from the restrictive undergarments and my face a rest from the makeup. My face so far has held up to the repeated shaving, as I am trying to have one of my weekend days as a shave free day. Fingers crossed it continues.

So why the change in post subject? Answer: My first assessment. My first appointment at the Gender Clinic. It all happened pretty fast. I had a call about three weeks ago from the clinic asking if I could come the next day. There was no way that I could get the day off of work, so, luckily, they had an appointment for the two weeks later. As the days passed, the more nervous I became. I don't really know why? Perhaps it's due to the fact that my future happiness is in their hands.

The day finally arrived. A close friend had offered to come with me and I gratefully accepted their offer. I was a bit anxious on the way up. Not as anxious as I would have been in a past life, but nevertheless, it was there. We were early to the clinic, so we had something to eat and drink, as we were both a bit in need of some sustenance.

The time came. In we went. They confirmed my identity at the reception and we waited to be called in. The time came - in we went. The consultant asked lots of questions about work, family, history of my feelings of my dysphoria, any mental health issues, family illnesses - mainly ticking boxes and getting an overview of my life so far. Then the biggie - what do I want? Surgery, I said. What about hormone therapy? Of course, I said. They then went through the possible side effects and problems of hormone therapy; which I thought was a lot for the first assessment. Little did I know..........

After the talk on the side effects, the consultant said that, subject to satisfactory blood tests, I could be on hormones before Christmas. BEFORE CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!! WOOHOO! Not after my second assessment, THIS YEAR!! I was gobsmacked. The letter from the mental health doctor last year (who used to work at the clinic) was a large factor in the way the assessment went. Their assessment was largely rubber stamped by the consultant who had no problem in recommending me for the therapy.

I was also referred for speech therapy and funding for electrolysis. The consultant was so fixated on the hormone therapy, they forgot about those! We walked out of the assessment slightly stunned. I was slowly taking it all in. I couldn't get the blood tests that day - the department was closed. I am off to my doctors tomorrow for that. Then the waiting begins again! 

Whilst all this was going on, I had applied for another job at my employers. The same job, just in a different branch. I had applied for it the week before and had my interview last week. So not only did I have my assessment at the clinic, I had a job interview as well! The interview went.......very well! I answered every question, gave concise answers, backed up with examples. I was confident and hopefully that came across. The outcome of the interview was a job offer, which I accepted.

As you can see, I had a pretty good week. The best week I've had for many years. Things are moving forward quicker than I had ever imagined they would. I can't get too ahead of myself though - things can change in the blink of an eye. I have to stay realistic, but I'm going to enjoy my good fortune for once! xxxx

Date: 26th of September 2016
Time: 5am
Location: My bed.

My alarm goes off. This is it. This is D-Day. The day I finally start living full time as my biological gender. The day I start working as my biological gender. The start of the rest of my life. My life will never be the same again. I cannot wait!

I have to get up at 5am to have enough time to get ready, have breakfast and drive to work. My new morning regime consists of the following:

1. Shave
2. Shower
3. Cleanse/Tone/Moisturise
4. Makeup
5. Get dressed
6. Hair
7. Breakfast
8. Clean teeth
9. Put on coat & shoes
10. Drive to work 

I know some of you do this every day and have done for years - I am in absolute awe of you. You have my total respect. Parts 1-6 take me an hour, which, considering I have only been applying makeup for a few years, is not too bad. The shaving everyday is the worst part though. It leaves my skin quite sore sometimes. It's not been as bad as I thought it would be this week, but I will need one day without shaving just to let my skin recuperate.

It's quite a change from my old regime of get dressed, breakfast, clean teeth, Coat & shoes and drive to work. All in the space of 25 mins, or 15 mins if in a rush!

Putting on my uniform for the first time was like getting ready for my first day at school. Everything had to be just right, neat and tidy. I had to look the part. I just wanted to blend in and look convincing enough to pass as me and at least make people second guess. What do you think?

These were taken about 6am - not bad considering it was my first early start and my first basic work makeup trial. The combination of feeling nervous and excited were really starting to hit me at this point. In the past, it would have been too much for me and I could not have gone through with it. It shows me how far I have come over the past few years that it did not faze me at all.

So, how did my first day go? To be honest, OK. I admit it was a little weird going into the building as me at first. It took me a couple of hours to get used to the fact that I was finally at work as me. It wasn't much different to begin with. The routines were the same, the branch was the same, it was just my vessel was different.

It was 7.30am, time to open. My heart started beating a little faster. This was the culmination of 4 months of planning finally being put into practice. My nerves were at their peak. The doors opened and............no one. The car park was empty. A total anti-climax!

Some of the regular customers had already been told and the first customer in was one of those. Strangely, the nerves subsided and the customer was fine. I tried to serve as many customers as I could, just to give me more confidence. I have had lots of support from the regular customers - so far. It is early days and things may change.

One highlight of my first day, was the delivery of a humongous bunch of flowers from one of the other branches in my area. Hand delivered by a member of staff (who has been supportive from day one), with a card signed from everyone at the branch. It was such a fabulous thing for them to do - I did nearly cry!

Overall, my first week has been a learning curve, a confidence boost and a view on how, as a female, you are treated differently. I will leave this post here and will expand on this and how living full time has been in my next post. xx