Summer is almost here. The mornings and evenings are lighter and with that, my mood is in a better place. It's nice to go to work and come home in the light. That extra boost you need after the dark and cold winter months. An injection of Vitamin D to brighten up my view. 

If you've been reading my posts, you'll know I've been going to counselling sessions. These have been very tough, both emotionally and mentally on me, due to the nature of what I am dealing with. I've had four so far and whilst at the start, it was extremely difficult and draining, I am finally beginning make sense of what I am dealing with. Drawing the lines between the dots and creating a clearer picture of my issues and my way forward. 

For me, talking one to one with someone is the best form of counselling. Someone who is also detached from my group and has no preconceptions about anyone involved. They also understand the unique issues that transgender people have and the pressures that we are under from society as a whole. Just being able to get all of these issues out in the open with someone who has a different view on them is good as it gives me a new angle on which to tackle them from.

Only I can deal with them though. The counselling can provide the tools to help me, but ultimately, I am in control of the outcome. It will be a long process for some of the issues; there won't be an overnight fix. At least I can see a way forward now. 

It was nice to have a week away from work last week. A week of doing nothing but days out and spending a little money on myself. Summer clothes, bus and train rides and the odd coffee and cake to relax and take stock of life. Recharge the batteries. The fact that I didn't have to get up at five am and could actually have a proper lie in for the first time in months was absolute bliss! (Going to sleep at three am probably had something to do with that as well!) 

So that's where I am at the moment. Things are looking better. Things are looking brighter. I can see a new way forward and see a small light at the end of the tunnel. Small steps...…...xx