Just a quick post. Something someone said tonight, albeit a throwaway comment, hopefully, is currently going round and round my brain and stopping me from sleeping.

At first I just laughed about it, but it actually hurt me. The phrase in question: You don't matter. Context: watching fireworks, 11 year old hiding behind me as they didn't want to get hit by any debris. My friends family have taken me in as a 'foundling' as my own immediate family don't want anything to do with me. So, put the two together and it kinda hurts.

I know that from experience that kids will just say what they do without a filter as they don't always know the full facts or are not yet fully self aware. I have to apply the benefit of the doubt here, as it was probably not intentional, but it does make me feel like an interloper and fuels my feelings of loneliness and feelings of being unloved.

I'll get over it, I always do. However, each time something like this happens, a little piece of me disappears and that exterior becomes ever so slightly harder to break open.