Last week I said goodbye to a couple of very close friends. They had been with me for nearly 18 months, day in and day out. They were as close to me as you could get. However, they had outgrown their usefulness and I don't need them anymore, so I had to say goodbye. A sad week indeed.........or not, depending on which way you look at it. Saying goodbye to them meant one thing and one thing only. The hormone therapy was doing one of the jobs it is intended to do. 

It may sound rather dramatic, but to me it is a milestone in my transition. Since day one, I had been wearing breast prosthesis - chicken fillets - fake boobs - call them what you will. A comment a few weeks ago from a close friend about my growth in that area plus the fact that my work blouse had been straining at the buttons recently meant that the last increase in Estrogen dosage was finally increasing the size of my bust. I now had enough to fill a push up bra all by myself. I had my own, albeit small, cleavage. 

My body has been changing a lot recently. My shape has changed. Wider around the hips (splitting trousers); more defined cheekbones; slightly fuller lips and a larger bust. It feels like I am finally changing physically into the body I should have had and when I look in the mirror now, I am starting to feel a little better about myself. 

I can look in the mirror now and even without makeup, I look different. I like what I see now. Correction - I love what I see now. I see Danielle. 

The next stage of my transition is also now starting. Speech therapy. My voice can be a giveaway, especially on the phone and it's the one thing I really have trouble with. I am constantly misgendered on the phone and it really bugs me. If I'm tired, it also drops a little and I can't help it. So, after a false start in December, I finally have had my initial assessment. Another day trip to the clinic and someone new to see.

My appointment was with one of the team of speech therapists, but, unfortunately, they were ill. So, I had my appointment with the lead clinician for speech therapy instead. What an insightful person they are. I learnt so much about the voice, how your larynx works and how your voice is affected by many different things. I had to do a few voice exercises and answer a few questions and overall, my voice isn't too bad but it does need work.

The basics are as follows: The voice is measured in Hertz. Low is 70, average male is 80 - 100, average female 160 plus. I was measured at about 130-136 as an average. Not too bad. The plan is to get me to about 156 - 160 over the course of the next year, through one to one and group sessions. I have vocal exercises to do five times a day, everyday. I do feel a bit self conscious when doing them, but I have to do them! 

2018 is ok at the moment. Starting off in a better vein than 2017 ended. Still lots to do, still lots of changes to come. If you hear me making silly noises or repeating the same noise over and over and over and over again, just ignore me. It means I've finally lost it........or I'm doing my vocal exercises. Sometimes, even I can't tell the difference!!