A few little morsels of my life for you, served with (hopefully) humour on a Liquid Crystal Display near you. You've had a long enough break, so time to get going again.

I have a date tomorrow night. Yes, me. A date. Now, I can't really say a lot, as my date reads this blog. So, all I will give you tonight is how I am feeling ahead of the date. Initially, I wasn't nervous. However, as the day has gotten closer, my nerves are kicking in. You have to bear in mind that I haven't dated before. A complete novice. Even the old, dead me, last dated in 2000. A lot has changed since then. Especially me.

Not that the old, dead me(ODM) dated much anyway. Far too shy, believe it or not. One of you out there will remember the old dead shy me, pre 2000 dating. It scared the crap out of the ODM. Never felt comfortable. Too nervous and painfully shy. To be honest, I still am a little shy, I just manage to hide it.

I have met my date before. We were due to go on a date last year, but due to 'circumstances', it didn't happen. I was disappointed as I was looking forward to experiencing my first date as me. I did, in no uncertain terms, convey my disappointment over the circumstances and did vow never to go on a date with this person again.

You only live once. One chance. One life. When the message came though recently asking if I wanted to go on a date, my initial reaction was NO! I sought advice from my one of my mentors, who basically said 'why not? What have you got to lose?' So, I said yes. They just have to be aware that, if they bail again, they won't be so lucky. No pressure there then......

To be serious for a minute, the past is the past and I am willing to give them another chance. Life is short and I'm willing to try again. We have spoken about what has happened and I'm willing to wipe the slate clean. I can't guarantee I won't make any sarcastic remarks though - that's just my nature!!
Will I blog about the date? I'm  unsure. I may go over my feelings about it and my general experience as it would be unfair on my date to go into any detail.

A comment made over dinner this evening combined with a chat whilst on a lovely walk, has confirmed that the hormones are making a physical difference. The problem is, that I see my face every day, so I don't really see the changes.(I do apologise to the mirror for having to look at my face, it's only right.) It's only when people tell me that I look different and that they can't remember how the ODM looked, plus the comment 'Do you use moisturiser?' even after  a 5 mile walk, is very encouraging to hear.

I am feeling different, thinking differently, acting differently. Why the hell didn't I do this sooner? Life got in the way. That's why. People got in the way. Got rid of them. Situations arose. Dealt with them. Brain got in the way. Talked to it and told it what for. Now I am surrounded by people who care, a brain that is finally in tune with what my heart wants and a life going in the right direction. How I got to this point in my life without completely losing it, is a mystery to me......